How Do You Stay Positive?

Our garden is watched over by the "Travellers"; sculptures created by my husband.  To me they are organic and harmonious, a peaceful addition to the landscape.

Our garden is watched over by the “Travellers”; sculptures created by my husband. To me they are organic and harmonious, a peaceful addition to the landscape.

This is the challenge isn’t it?  How to stay upbeat when you just feel like crap. I’ve watched my husband over the last two weeks get leveled by chemo, a blood clot, thrush, headaches, and nausea. The side effects of the disease and the treatment are debilitating.  We know that success in battling cancer depends on the psychological state of the individual – which speaks volumes to those survivors since both the disease and treatment drag you down.  Ultimately it comes down to small time pain and hardship for long term gain.  That’s the prize isn’t it – long term gain.  The present setbacks have to be put into perspective as temporary with the goal firmly ahead of getting past them and into a state of harmony and health.  It’s finding a strategy or a method that works for the individual to keep them looking forward.

For us our strategy is keeping focused on near future events.  Like an Art Show in October that he’d like to put a picture in.  Like having the family home for Christmas and enjoying just being together.  Like a new grand baby due in February. These things keep us going, keep him emotionally grounded, and provide a reason for going through all that he is going through.  It helps to have a strong support network too and in that way we are very fortunate.  Wherever this journey may take us we know that we have a web of family and friends gently behind us to catch us if we falter.   Thank you all.

How Much Is Too Much?

Today has been a day that’s gone from bad to worse.  Ever heard of that saying, “If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck at all.”  Two separate bits of bad news both equally devastating, both that I can’t share with my husband right now because they would significantly alter his state of mind.  One is not mine to share anyway.  I’ve been told to keep it quiet until the test results come back.  Needless to say it is someone close, and the “bad” part of it is not knowing.  The other bit of news is the death of a former co-worker of mine who we had met during our last visit to the hospital.  Feisty and determined, she was a slip of a thing when we had met up with her, but her spirit and verve were undeniable.  She just didn’t have the physical fortitude to go along with her mental toughness and her body let her down.  Sad, sad day for me, I worked with her for years and absolutely adored her, she will be missed by all who knew her.  I will tell him when the time is right but I will definitely not volunteer this information. 

For me the most important thing to do is to maintain his state of mind, he needs to be positive, to feel the love and strength of all those around him.  My commitment to him is to ensure that we keep looking forward and up, not backwards and down.   That the aura around him is one of sharing, caring, love and happiness and strengthens his inner spirit.