It was three years on March 29th. Kevin died peacefully at home, with all of his immediate family around him. How silly was I ever to think, to worry, that the memories I cherish would fade, that I would lose them. They are all still there, the good memories and the tough ones. It’s magical how the mind can transport you back; how real and fresh the images are, how sharp the pain still is. He was, for so long, the heart, the breath and the soul of this family, that I still struggle to move forward. Kevin was, quite simply, my purpose for being, he was my world.
I read the posts our friends put up on the anniversary of his death, and I received messages from friends and family. I reflected on what a huge loss it was when he died, what a tragedy that someone who lived life so fully lost the privilege of ‘being’ so early. Kevin had so many plans and dreams, so much passion and love – we were so blessed to have had him in our lives. He did the things he wanted to, without regret. Never could it be said that he let an opportunity pass by, he believed that you had to get out there and make things happen. I am a better person for having loved him.
I truly believe the person we are is the result of the paths we’ve chosen and the people who have crossed them or join us on them for a time. We can either learn as we travel or we can blindly go forward, that’s on us. For the last three years I have blindly gone forward, out of necessity since it was just too painful to look for any lessons to come out of this. But they are there, lurking around in my mind, waiting for me to sift through them. Maybe soon I will tackle that process, because those lessons are important and it is the final legacy of my journey with Kevin – so I owe him that, to learn from him one last time.