No Test, No Answers

Last Tuesday was supposed to be CT scan day but it wasn’t. When he woke in the morning my husband was too weak to make the journey. Several phone calls later we had it sorted out. The CT scan was canceled and the blood work was set up to be drawn at the house the next day. You see we figured that he was too weak from a low hemoglobin and needed a transfusion so our GP arranged to have lab come to the house. The results were back to us by Wednesday about the hemoglobin – it was at 107 and no transfusion was required.

On Thursday we heard from the GP. The white blood cell count was up and my husband was fighting an infection. This was something we suspected since he had just come off of antibiotics for pneumonia, however, his phlegm had gone from clear to yellow almost immediately after finishing the antibiotics. He figured he needed more to kick the pneumonia out. So as of Thursday he started another prescription. Unfortunately his breathing has gone completely downhill. Although he is on oxygen he still can’t catch his breath. He is wobbly and can’t walk more than two steps without being winded and needing to stop and rest.

I wish I knew what was happening to him. His visiting nurse says his lungs sound good, the phlegm he coughs up has responded to the new antibiotics and is almost clear again – but yet he feels tighter than ever in his chest. Is it the cancer? Is it fear? Is it both?

He has asked for no visitors right now since it exhausts him just to sit let alone try to have interest in conversation. His appetite is still passable but he has gone off of so many foods it is getting more and more challenging to find stuff he will eat. And then there is the companionship piece. He wants me in his line of vision at all times, not to talk, just to know I am there – which I am.

I hope the next day or two brings a rebound, if not physically perhaps emotionally. I just want to hear him laugh again.